‘It felt very lonely but also scary’: School counsellor made school a safe space

Wednesday, 8 October 2025

One term into a new year and school, Lulu found herself friendless and desperate to avoid the daily trauma of navigating the school playground alone.

The year 8 Christchurch South Intermediate student began taking sick days and when she did attend school she was often late.

“It felt very lonely but also scary, like, I don't know how I'm going to make friends.”

After mentioning that someone she knew had seen the school counsellor, her mum contacted Lulu’s teacher to ask for a referral.

The school has over 500 students and one counsellor. Lulu had her first session about two weeks later and said she felt safe to share her experience with the counsellor.

A group session facilitated by the counsellor created a fun environment for Lulu to connect with other students - some of whom are now her friends.

Without the support Lulu said life would be very different.

“I think I would just be too nervous to go to school and just not really liking it at all.”

A majority of schools in a nationwide survey by children’s charity Barnardos reported more students were seeking counselling support with financial stress, social media, and increased anxiety being key drivers.

But they struggle to meet the growing need.

Of 119 primary and secondary schools, 76% reported an uptick in students wanting counselling support.

Some schools - 17% - had no counsellors on site, while many had just one or two.

While over half of the schools surveyed said 20% of their students were accessing a guidance counsellor, they believed up to 40% more would benefit from the support if it was available.

Financial pressure on families topped the list of concerns raised by children and young people, the survey found.

“This stress is clear within whānau and can be taken on by tamariki and rangatahi who see that their parents are struggling,” the report said.

High use of social media and online content was another driver of mental distress, with students affected by “increased insecurity due to constant comparisons to what they see online”.

Cyberbullying was also responsible for heightened anxiety, while reliance on devices was seen to make in-person relationship building harder.

Young people were returning to unstable and stressful home environments after school due to things such as separations, parental mental health struggles, substance use and violence, the report said.

New Zealand Principals Federation president Leanne Otene said it was disappointing there was no uplift in funding in the 2025 budget to extend the counselling in schools programme, rolled out to 243 primary schools from 2020.

“An ERO (Education Review Office) review last year found a majority of students reported sustained improvements to their mental health three months after starting counselling.

“We know it works.”

Otene said the average ratio of one counsellor to 670 students in New Zealand was “dangerously high”.

The American Counselling Association recommends a counsellor to student ratio of 1 to 250 and the New Zealand Association of Counsellors (NZAC) is calling for 1 to 400.

She said secondary schools received funding for counselling but the majority of primary and intermediate schools had to use operational grants.

“These kids can’t wait until they are in secondary school.”

NZAC president Huhana Pene said the Government needed to take counselling in schools seriously if it wanted success in achievement and attendance rates.

“The health and wellbeing of young people matters for educational achievement. You cannot have one without the other.”

Ministry of Education acting hautū (leader) operations and integration Grant Pollard said $10.374 million was allocated to support the Awhi Mai Awhi Atu counselling in schools programme in the 2025 Budget.

“A comprehensive three-year evaluation by the ERO … found the programme has delivered strong, positive outcomes. However, at this stage, there are no current plans to expand the programme further.”

Barnardos conducted the survey to better understand the need for counselling support in schools.

The charity employs over 100 social workers, some of whom are based at schools, and the free, confidential 0800 What’s Up? phone and chat counselling service for children aged 5 to 19-years-old.

Communications and advocacy manager Elodie Berthe said What’s Up? counsellors mainly provided one-off support but could also offer regular phone counselling. It aimed to fill a gap in mental health support, when in-person services were not available, or as another option for those students who preferred the anonymity of a phone service.

The team of about 10 to 12 full-time equivalent counsellors responded to more than 12,000 calls and chats each year with half of the $1 million cost funded by Oranga Tamariki and the rest from fundraising and corporate sponsors.

A proposal by Oranga Tamariki to cut funding for the service was scrapped early this year after Minister for Children Karen Chhour stepped in following a public outcry over the move.