A Mama Hooch survivor’s story: ‘the beauty of post-traumatic growth’
Wednesday, 1 November 2023
The author of this article cannot be identified because she has permanent name suppression.
OPINION: As a survivor of serial rapists Roberto and Danny Jaz’s offending in the Mama Hooch case, August 21, 2023 is a day I will never forget.
Not because Danny and Roberto received the sentencing that they ultimately deserved. It was the day I finally gave myself the permission to bring closure.
Early that morning, I had met with my contact from Aviva and the police detective to go through my victim impact statement.
Because of the trauma I had experienced, I was adamant that I would have my statement read to the court by someone else on my behalf, largely because I thought if I read it myself, I would be reduced to a quivering mess.
As I sat in the courtroom, I was unsure what I would hear or what to expect. I listened intently as each survivor read their victim impact statement. I was so touched by how eloquently they spoke and with such great strength. That day, they gave me so much determination and courage that when my name was called, I knew exactly what I needed to do.
I took to the stand and spoke directly to Roberto and Danny Jaz. It was empowering to see the power dynamics change, as the two of them sat there so powerless. I was surprised how calm I was as I gave the court my account of the most frightening and life-threatening experiences that occurred, and how they made me feel.
It made me realise that after all these years Roberto and Danny Jaz no longer had any power over me.
And I couldn’t help but notice they seemed to be experiencing their own emotions – the constant shuffling of Roberto’s feet, and the quivering of Danny’s hand as he raised his cup to sip some water.
Following the sentencing, some of the survivors had an opportunity to meet, including their families. It was an opportunity I was so grateful for. We have our families and friends for support, we socialise, and we have careers to fulfil.
As survivors while we have experienced trauma. That does not mean that we are weak or stagnating. With patience and time healing is possible.
I never anticipated that I would experience such unimaginable trauma. When it hit it felt as though it clutched onto my heart and exposed every deep-seated wound. At times, it was incredibly raw and confronting. But in the five years since I encountered them, I have chosen to live my life with determination and strength.
There is something in the beauty of post-traumatic growth. You begin to see how you have adapted and grown with trauma embedded in your life.
It has strengthened my appreciation of life and the ability to view the world from a different perspective. It has opened opportunities that I would have never thought were possible. I never underestimate the kindness of others, whether the compassion of friends or the kindness of strangers.
I now have a greater sense of self-awareness, the ability to self-reflect; to understand people better, their behaviour, their emotions, or their life trajectory. I still give myself permission to cry; I have always believed tears are for healing. But those times are now few and far between.
Roberto and Danny Jaz lived a superficial and deceptive life. It was not hard to see the concealed truth. Their exaggerated personas were to simply fulfil their unmet needs of wanting to be desired and accepted.
One of the hard things about my experience is that as a survivor of their offending, my name is permanently suppressed.
As with the other survivors, we could be colleagues, or I may have met you at a networking event or social function, and you’d be none the wiser about our experiences.
But more importantly, it means that we have never been able to express our gratitude to those who have reminded us of the goodness in people
Those who believed in us, those who sent us messages of encouragement, and the determination and strength we gained from those. You do not know how much this means to us. We will never forget such kindness and compassion.
A Givealittle fundraiser launched to support the survivors will help us in so many ways. We all have dreams and aspirations in moving forward with our lives. For some, it may be study they want to fulfil. One survivor and her partner had postponed their wedding due to the trial. Others may wish to purchase something memorable such as a precious taonga, or recoup some of the financial losses they endured through no fault of their own.
As time goes on, we are all making better lives for ourselves.
Where to get help
Rape Crisis 0800 88 33 00, click link for local helplines.
Victim Support 0800 842 846.
Safetalk text 4334, phone 0800 044 334 webchat safetotalk.nz or email support@safetotalk.nz.
The Harbour Online support and information for people affected by sexual abuse.
Women’s Refuge 0800 733 843
Male Survivors Aotearoa Helplines across NZ, click to find out more (males only).
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111.
If you or someone you know is in a dangerous situation, click the Shielded icon at the bottom of this website to contact Women's Refuge in a safe and anonymous way without it being traced in your browser history. If you're in our app, visit the mobile website here to access Shielded.
The Givealittle page for Mama Hooch survivors will be accepting donations until 11.59pm on Saturday, November 12.