Business matters: The foods you should never, ever microwave at work

Sunday, 20 April 2025

Amberleigh Jack is a lifestyle columnist for the Sunday Star-Times.

OPINION: There are a few things I miss about working in a busy office. What I don’t miss are the politics of the communal kitchen. One dirty cup, an empty coffee machine or a misjudged meal can turn calm into chaos.

Put the wrong meal in the microwave? Good luck to you, friend.

That’s why this week, to boost office morale everywhere, I scoured internet forums and threads, called on friends and former colleagues and found myself lost in a sea of open tabs to compile a list of foods that should never be microwaved at the office.

Your co-workers will thank me.

Fish

Fish and microwaves are such universal adversaries that it felt a little pointless including them in this week’s list. But when it comes to kitchen lawlessness, no list would be complete without the one food that will result in death stares from every colleague in unison.

The smell of microwaved fish is so potent and long-lasting that it’s fairly common to find warning signs plastered in office kitchens. Under no circumstances should a fish meal be placed in the electromagnetic radiation tool in the workplace.

If you must bring fish for lunch, be happy eating it cold. Or work from home. For the sake of co-workers everywhere.

Eggs

I have nothing against eggs. But I firmly believe they don’t belong near a shared working space.

Others, it seems, aren’t too bothered (a point made glaringly obvious when, while researching this week’s column, my editor sent a photo of his day’s lunch - fish, eggs and all).

Take those eggs and microwave them, though? Nobody will thank you. One friend told a story of a former colleague who regularly ate microwaved eggs near colleagues.

“It smelled like he’d shit himself,” she told me.

Fermented foods

I love a decent helping of kimchi or sauerkraut with my meals, but there’s no denying both have a lingering scent.

I can confirm, from first-hand failed experiments, that heating the tasty condiments with leftovers leaves a lingering scent.

Keep the fermented food at home, eat away from the shared office or - at the very least - add them after you’ve heated your meal.

Broccoli

If you’ve ever worked in the same office as a bodybuilder, you may recognise the stereotypical diet of broccoli and chicken that traditionally accompanies the cut phase.

If you’ve ever worked with a bodybuilder who heats their pre-prepared broccoli and chicken in the microwave every day, you may never want to work with a bodybuilder in a cut phase again.

The veggies have sulfur-containing compounds called glucosinolates. Those little bad boys result in a pungent smell. Opening the microwave door after a reheat is not the path to making friends in the office.

It’s the same with any cruciferous vegetable. Avoid heating cauliflower, brussels sprouts and cabbage, too.

Save those for home meals. Or at least eat them cold.

Popcorn

Honestly, I never paid much attention to popcorn. But when this week’s research found me scrolling through multiple Reddit comments insisting the harmless-seeming snack should never be microwaved at work, I was intrigued.

I soon found myself down a rabbit hole of studies, chemistry and … a Southeast Asian animal called a bearcat.

Disclaimer: I barely scraped through School C chem and failed it in my Bursary year. I don’t do science. But my understanding is that sugars in kernels are heated, and a compound that gives popcorn its scent is created: 2-acetyl-1-pyrroline (2AP).

Interestingly, 2AP is also found in bearcat pee. So if you smell popcorn, someone’s eating a tasty snack nearby, or you’re on an Asian binturong trail.

I won’t risk putting my dire chemistry knowledge to the test when it comes to what happens when popcorn is burnt. But the important thing to know - according to many Redditors, blogs and advice columns online - is that you and your colleagues are in for a world of hurt.

It ll take time, effort and some googling before you and your innocent workmates are free from the smell.

Interestingly, when googling “popcorn smells like urine” during my bearcat side quest, the more common results answered the question: “Why does my urine smell like popcorn?”

It’s something about ketones.

In short: If you must microwave popcorn at work, be willing to change jobs if you burn it. If your urine smells like popcorn, you might want to check in with your doctor.

Stinky cheese

This isn’t a microwave addition, but there were enough Reddit comments to deserve a spot on the list.

As a non-cheese eater, this speaks to my soul.

Leave the gruyère at home.

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