‘It’s an epidemic’: Calls for stalking to be made illegal in New Zealand
Thursday, 23 May 2024
A survivor of stalking has opened up about the hold her ex-partner has on her life, 10 years after they split. It comes amid calls for stalking to be made illegal in New Zealand. Caroline Williams reports.
When Molly* and her partner ended things after a year together, she kept bumping into him while out in public. He would also happen to drive past her as she walked home.
“He always seemed to know where I was.”
After a few weeks, it became clear the chance meetings were not a coincidence: “It happened daily”.
When she contacted police, Molly learnt her ex had a violent history with previous partners: “They told me I was in danger and that I needed a protection order.”
Having been in an intimate relationship with the man, Molly found this hard to believe.
“And then he set fire to my house.”
Stalking an ‘epidemic’ in New Zealand
While stalking behaviours are covered by the law - usually in the Harassment or Crime acts - stalking is not an offence in itself, with police admitting that it can be a hard to bring a prosecution, given it is not technically unlawful.
Victim advocate Ruth Money believes stalking is an epidemic in Aotearoa.
About 80% of the domestic violence survivors Money works with have experienced being stalked.
One of her clients has had to change her phone number seven times to avoid a man. Another’s ex keeps taking her cat to the vets, claiming it is undernourished, so that she has to collect her cat and pay the vet bill.
Victims of stalking cannot lead normal lives as they have to be hyper-vigilant to protect themselves from a “crusade of attacks” which could come from anywhere at any moment, Money says.
“Life disappears because the stalker is amongst everything you do.”
‘He knew everything I was doing’
Molly compared being stalked to worrying about when a lion will pounce.
“You can smell the lion, but you can’t see it. You stop what you’re doing the second you smell the lion but you can’t sleep, because you know if you don’t pay attention, you might die.”
Molly’s ex-partner continued to stalk her for years after their one-year relationship ended.
“He knew everything I was doing.”
The same day she contacted a lawyer to get a protection order against him, he sent her a death threat.
“He told me I was going to go to hell and then turned up at my house with a weapon,” she said, adding that he used the weapon to carve a cross in her front door.
The incident allowed Molly to get an emergency protection order in family court the next day. He was later charged and convicted of wilful damage.
But still the unwanted attention continued. The protection order gave police some power, but the threshold for prosecution was high.
Molly would receive “f….. up, really twisted, dark” messages, often late at night, telling her she needed to watch out.
He also messaged her children, ex-boyfriends and employer, and would send her photos he’d taken of her in her home.
After seeing her father’s obituary, he “taunted” her about his death: “That’s how I knew he was still Googling me”.
“It was rampant.
While most police officers were supportive, Molly said that on one occasion, an officer labelled her complaints as “far-fetched”. She could see where he was coming from.
“Some of this behaviour is so bizarre and out of the realms of other people’s experience that when you recount it, you sound crazy.”
“A lot of the stuff on its own is really small. But it’s the patterns that add up. You have to document it all.'
What does the law say?
Stalking and harassment behaviours are currently covered in the Harassment, Crimes, Family Violence and Harmful Digital Communication Acts.
However, none of these pieces of legislation specifically refer to stalking as a standalone offence, University of Auckland associate professor of law Carrie Leonetti said.
For someone to be charged under the Harassment Act, they need to have intended to cause harm to the victim.
This didn’t always capture the behaviour of stalkers, which at face value, could be seen as harmless, Leonetti said.
For example, someone who sends their ex-partner loving gestures in attempt to rekindle the relationship, by constantly showing up at their home, messaging or sending them roses.
But if the gestures are unwanted and constant, they could be overbearing and cause the recipient fear.
“A person who doesn't take no for an answer is actually a very dangerous person,” Leonetti said.
Calls for stalking to be made a standalone offence
The Coalition for the Safety of Women and Children is urging the government to make stalking illegal under the Crimes Act.
“Many New Zealanders, mostly women, do not have the empowerment that comes from knowing they are safe to care for their children, create loving relationships, live where they choose, or even to engage in public-facing work,” it said in a letter to justice minister Paul Goldsmith on Monday.
“This is because they are targeted by stalkers: people making unwanted, repetitive, and persistent intrusions into their lives.”
Stalking is illegal in Australia, the US, the UK and Europe, meanwhile New Zealand’s laws were “piecemeal and inadequate”, the coalition said.
Making stalking illegal would give police the tools to provide victims with prompt and effective support and protection.
It was a “no brainer”, Molly said.
“It’s just about giving the police a set of tools that they can use, and I’m sure they desperately need.'
“They’ve seen the harm that this sort of behaviour brings, but they can’t actually do their job properly because there’s no law they can apply.'
Ten years after they broke up, Molly still suffers the consequences of her ex-partner’s stalking: She isn’t free to be herself online, meaning she cannot have a public profile to help advance her career.
It’s been about 18 months since she heard from her ex, but she is constantly wondering when he might pop up.
“I feel pretty lucky that I made it out of this alive.”
Police stalking policy ‘not fit for purpose’
Prior to the 2023 general election, Goldsmith said National would investigate making stalking a crime if elected, according to the New Zealand Herald.
“Labour has dragged its feet in this area. National has always listened to victims’ advocates and we would look seriously at making stalking a separate offence if we’re elected.”
His comments followed the killing of 21-year-old Farzana Yaqubi, who was murdered by Kanwarpal Singh in December 2022.
The pair met near Auckland University of Technology, where Yaqubi was studying law, and they later met for a coffee.
However, Singh became obsessed with her. When Yaqubi blocked his messages, he would create new accounts to message her. Eventually he became threatening.
“If u don’t wanna say anything I will kidnap u n give u 365 days to fall in love with me.” He also threatened to throw acid in her face.
When he found out where she lived, he would send her pizza and videos taken outside her house.
Yaqubi twice reported to police that Singh had threatened, stalked and harassed her before he brutally stabbed her to death metres from her home in Massey, Auckland.
The Independent Police Conduct Authority later ruled the police response to Yaqubi’s reports was “inadequate”.
It also found the criteria used by police to assess allegations of stalking as “not fit for purpose”.
In March, Ministry of Justice officials wrote a memo to Goldsmith outlining issues with current stalking and harassment laws, ahead of a meeting with the Coalition for Safety of Women and Children.
“Police has advised that they find it challenging to respond to some stalking behaviours because they are not unlawful. Also, the current definition of harassment does not capture surveillance and monitoring,” the memo read.
Leonetti believed police needed more training to deal with stalking:“I don’t think front line officers, for the most part, know what stalking is or know how harmful it is to victims.'
How police respond to stalking reports
In a statement, a police spokesperson said it took stalking seriously and aimed to provide support to protect victims and prevent further harassment.
However, stalking was often difficult to prove.
“Without substantial evidence, it can be challenging for police to take legal action.
“The impact of stalking is often subjective, and what one person perceives as threatening may not be seen the same way by others, including law enforcement or the courts.”
Evidence from stalking incidents was paramount for substantiating claims, they said.
“Gathering comprehensive evidence helps build a strong case against the stalker and can lead to more effective legal and protective measures.
Investigating stalking was also resource intensive: “Law enforcement agencies often have to prioritise cases based on the severity and immediacy of the threat.”
Gathering information from social media and messaging applications was complex and time-consuming, especially if police need to obtain records from overseas-based technology companies.
If the situation is urgent, victims are urged to phone police on 111.
“Police can help the victim develop a safety plan, which can include changes to daily routines and securing the victim’s home.”
Victims may also apply for a protection or restraining order thought the courts, which legally restricts the stalker from contacting or approaching them.
Police recommend victims not engage with or respond to the stalker, make their social media accounts private, install home security such as cameras, locks and alarms.
“Make sure to inform friends, family, neighbours, and co-workers about your situation so they can help watch out for you and provide support.
If possible, make sure to inform your employer or security personnel at your workplace so they can assist in ensuring your safety at work.
How to document and report stalking incidents
Evidence that is crucial for substantiating stalking includes:
Communications from the stalker, including texts, emails, messages and voice mails.
Photos and videos of the stalker near your home, workplace or other places where they have followed and approached you.
Gifts, letters and notes received from the stalker.
Medical reports if the stalking has caused injuries or psychological harm.
It is recommended victims file a police report for each incident to create an official record of stalking behaviour
Not her real name*
Where to get help for domestic violence
Women’s Refuge 0800 733 843 (females only)
Shine Free call 0508 744 633 (for men and women)
1737, Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor.
Kidsline 0800 54 37 54 for people up to 18 years old. Open 24/7.
What’s Up 0800 942 8787 (for 5 to 18-year-olds). Phone counselling available Monday-Friday, noon-11pm and weekends, 3pm-11pm. Online chat is available 3pm-10pm daily.
Youthline 0800 376 633, free text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz, or find online chat and other support options here.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111.
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