Obituary:The invisible man who made a career of volunteering

Thursday, 23 March 2023

Barry Rouse was a small man with a big heart who loved helping others. He also hated having his photo taken and there are only a handful of images of him.

Barry Rouse; charity volunteer: b November 11, 1945; d March 11, 2023.

Barry Rouse loved helping others. Known affectionately as Mouse, he was the sort of person every community needs.

A volunteer for Te Omanga Hospice for 37 years, he recently died, aged 77.

Mouse was a reference to his surname and diminutive size, but he was never short of energy when it came to giving a helping hand.

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The memorial for Barry Rouse was held at Wellington Family Speedway. His ashes were placed on a stockcar, so he could have one final look at the track he loved

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Despite all he did for such organisations as the hospice, the Blind Foundation and Te Marua Speedway, Rouse disliked publicity and never sought recognition for his hard work.

Born in Island Bay, he grew up in Lower Hutt before meeting Lynette Knight and moving to Upper Hutt in 1969.

Their marriage produced three children, Angela, Leanne and Brent, but was not without tragedy.

Angela died aged 22 and Lynette had an eye disorder that resulted in her going blind in her 60s.

A man of few words, Lynette said there were two things he hated.

Barry Rouse would disappear at the sight of a camera.

Despite all he did for others, he refused publicity and would run a mile if someone produced a camera.

“It was hard getting his photo. It was very hard, even at family functions he would just disappear.”

A supportive husband and a father who looked after his family, he and Lynette met at stockcars in 1967.

Lynette reckons he did not miss a meeting at Te Marua Speedway in their entire marriage.

“I have never known him not to go to a meeting. It was just part of life on a Saturday.”

A longtime volunteer at the speedway, he loved being around cars and talking about engines. Working night shifts at the Griffin’s factory, he purchased a 1959 Ford that he was very proud of.

“He also had an old coupe in the garage all our married life that he was always going to get around to fixing, but he never did.”

As well as Griffin’s, he worked at Plateau School and St Pat’s Silverstream as a caretaker, and as a night packer for Woolworths.

Despite their modest circumstances, Lynette said Barry was always available to help anyone in the local community who needed it.

“He would take people to the hospital who needed an operation.”

His motivation to help was sparked by seeing his father-in-law, John Knight, struggle in later life.

Te Omanga Hospice boss Biddy Harford said Barry Rouse was a hardworking and loyal volunteer. He did not like recognition and was happy working behind the scenes. (File photo)

Knight had been blinded by a drunk driver and, suffering cancer, spent three months in Te Omanga Hospice.

“That was when Barry decided he would help others.”

Te Omanga chief executive Biddy Harford said Rouse’s contribution to the hospice was huge, and he was one of its most loyal supporters.

“He was with us for 37 years, he would help us with anything. He would always put his hand up.”

Because of his interest in electrical wiring, Te Omanga provided training so he could certify secondhand electrical goods to sell in their shops.

Never a wordsmith, he did not like speaking publicly, and reluctantly accepted an award from Te Omanga that recognised his long contribution.

Good friend Bernie O’Leary said it was remarkable that such a small man had so much energy.

Although never well off financially, it never stopped his friend from helping others, O’Leary said.

Computers and cellphones were technology that Rouse never conquered.

Instead, he relied on friends to do anything that required an email or computer skills.

Although the two were good mates, Mouse did not give him his cellphone number, which he had only for emergencies and never used.

O’Leary said the family had a lot of bad luck, but losing a daughter early and Lynette going blind only made Mouse more determined to volunteer.

Heart problems forced him into early retirement. Rather than sitting at home, however, he became more active as a volunteer and was a faithful supporter of Lynette.

Longtime friend Kevin Win spent the last 25 years working alongside Rouse doing pit control at Te Marua.

“He accepted that people who went out and raced deserved recognition, and he was there to do that.”

With his fascination with cars, it was something that Rouse enjoyed, and he remained committed despite having to increasingly deal with computers.

“He got the bug and I suppose it is no different from playing rugby. You play rugby because you love it and it was the same scenario with Barry, he had a great love of mechanics.”

He was amazed by how much time Rouse put in to volunteering and raising money for charity.

“He was committed to working for the Blind Foundation and Te Omanga Hospice and was just one of those people who wanted to help others.”

Rouse did not want a funeral but on a recent Friday friends and family gathered at Te Marua to remember a man who never put himself first.

His ashes were taken for one last spin around the speedway he had called home every Saturday for 50 years. Fittingly, organisers asked for donations for the hospice. Lynette said, he would have loved the emphasis on supporting the hospice but would not have enjoyed the fuss.

“He was just a good man who worked hard all his life and was a good father to his kids.”

-- by Nicholas Boyack

Sources: Lynette Rouse, Kevin Win and Bernie O’Leary.