Elderly couples share how they make their relationships work

Tuesday, 13 February 2018

On the eve of Valentines Day, three of Timaru's longest-married couples shared their tips on a happy relationship.

While William and Elizabeth Pitt, Donald and Marjorie McKenzie, and Stephen and Marie Wraight​ - who liveat Radius Elloughton Gardens - belonged to a generation that was less likely to celebrate Valentines Day. activities co-ordinator Lee Heron said the home would be hosting an afternoon tea and lunch for them to mark the day.

Elizabeth said her and William's daughter, Yvonne, would be visiting them for the special afternoon tea and lunch.

William and Elizabeth Pitt married in 1951 and celebrated their 66th anniversary in November.

They met when their vicar gave them both a ride to church choir services. The vicar introduced them by telling Elizabeth to not be afraid of William and they struck up a friendship while sitting together in the back seat.

They were both teaching Sunday school at the time.

They said their dedication to God kept them together.

William described their relationship as 'peaceful'.

Elizabeth said their relationship lasted because they saw the best in each other.

'I think it's important to hold each other in high regard and respect the rights of each other,' she said.

Elizabeth said she learned a lot about happy relationships from her parents, but acknowledged not everyone had parents with a loving marriage like her and William did.

Before joining William at Radius Elloughton Gardens, Elizabeth always greeted him with a cuddle and a kiss on the forehead whenever she visited.

Donald and Marjorie McKenzie married in 1967, 13 years after Donald spotted Marjorie across the room at Hamilton's Starlight Ball Room in 1954 and decided he had found the girl for him.

'The red hair just got me,' Donald said.

The trick to a long lasting relationship was communication and to have nothing serious to argue about, he said.

'We haven't really disagreed but when we did we didn't let it hang.'

Marjorie's advice for couples was to take their time exploring their relationship before deciding to get married, just as she and Donald had.

Donald agreed, saying young people had a tendency to 'hop in and hop out' of relationships too quickly.

'Make sure you're in love when you get married and stay that way,' he said.

Donald said he saw Valentines Day as a shopping day for businesses to make money and never felt any need to observe it.

Stephen and Marie Wraight were high school sweethearts and had been married for 60 years.

They met while both were attending bible class dances. Stephen said Marie stood out from the other girls.

Marie said support from her father as her romance with Stephen continued to bloom helped their relationship. Even if she returned home from a date as late as midnight, he would be keen to sit down with a cup of tea and ask her how it went.

Stephen and Marie raised three sons and an adopted daughter together.

They both agreed respect and love were the key ingredients to a strong relationship.

Marie said they had not argued once, not even on the day she hit Stephen with a frying pan after he frightened her by arriving home early from work.

'I thought it was a stranger coming into the house,' she said.

Stephen said he would 'hate to be single' but could not think of any advice for single people looking for love.

Heron said staff had 'been whipping up a whole bunch of displays' around the aged care home to celebrate Valentines Day and already had plans to set new ones up when Easter rolled around.

'It's always fun to do these special displays for them,' Heron said.