Protecting kids online: A guide for parents on conversations about ‘sextortion’
Warning: mention of suicide and sextortion
Sadly, a 12-year-old child in British Columbia, Canada, died by suicide following a case of online sextortion.
The child’s grieving parents are passionately urging families to talk to their children about the dangers of online predators in the hopes that other children can be safeguarded against online risks.
Sexual extortion, or “sextortion,” occurs when an individual is coerced into providing money or sexual images by threatening to release sexual or nude photos or videos of them online.
Many sextortion cases occur within existing relationships with peers, romantic partners or adults. However, in some cases, predators unknown to the child groom them into sharing intimate pictures or videos, later weaponising them for blackmail.
As clinical psychologists, we recognise and empathise with the challenge parents face in being fully appraised of their children’s online activities and navigating difficult topics. Below we offer information and practical advice for parents about initiating and having conversations about sex, sextortion and healthy device habits.
1 in 20 adolescents experience sextortion
In a study of over 5500 adolescents aged 12 to 17 in the United States, 5 per cent reported they had been victims of sextortion. Harm associated with sextortion included repeated online contact, harassment and having fake online profiles created of them.
About one-quarter of youths who reported being sextorted also reported being threatened with having their pictures publicly posted or sent to others without their consent.
When children and adolescents are targets of sextortion, they may experience intense fear and/or shame in speaking with their parents and caregivers about what has happened, and may be less aware of resources or supports they can turn to for help.
Boys are more likely to experience sextortion
While girls are more likely to experience sexual assault and have their images shared without their consent, boys are more likely to experience sextortion. It is estimated that victims in 91 per cent of reported sextortion cases are boys. According to a report by the Internet Watch Foundation, boys often mistakenly believe they are engaged in a mutual exchange of sexual images, which then results in sexual extortion for financial gain.
In addition to being victimised in sextortion cases, boys are less likely than girls to disclose victimisation to a parent or authority figure. This may stem from feeling persistent shame and stigma in being victims of sexual abuse. Societal expectations of boys are often to demonstrate strength and courage, which can create challenges in openly acknowledging and/or sharing when they are vulnerable or in distress.
Cognitively, adolescent males are more susceptible to impulsivity and risky behaviour than girls, and are therefore more likely to risk sharing photos that are later used as blackmail.
Talking to children about sexual health and digital safety
Educating children about online safety involves fostering their understanding of digital risks, as well as digital citizenship — how to be safe, legal and ethical online.
Guidance that children receive from parents or a trusted adult about online risks is crucial for shaping their online — and offline — behaviours and decision-making. Let’s get talking to our kids about their digital safety!
Resources
Resources for parents who want to learn more about keeping their kids safe online include Common Sense Media and Get Cyber Safe.
Parents or teens concerned about videos and images being distributed without their consent, or who are experiencing sextortion, should report their concerns immediately to local police. In Canada, they can also consult needhelpnow.ca and send a report to cybertip.ca. In the U.S., they can consult stopbullying.org.